A lot of our anxiety comes from anticipation of the future, and what it holds. Our minds project down the line, months and sometimes years in advance hoping to find an answer to the unknown pieces of life. When we can’t find certainty, we become anxious and feel helpless.
The paradoxical thing is, that when we try and anticipate the future, instead of decreasing our anxiety, it tends to increase it because the mind can never know “fully” how things will transpire.
Fear is a healthy emotion that can trigger our brains to take action that will keep us safe in dangerous situations. Anxiety on the other hand, is an emotion full of suffering because it tends to arise in situations that are not dangerous. The brain starts to “believe” there is danger when there isn’t any imminent danger to our survival.
Many times, the mind creates the suffering of anxiety because of its inability to be with feelings of “helplessness” that result from not being able to control the future outcome of our decisions. Therefore, if we can create a state of mind that can “be with” helplessness in a soothing, caring way, we can learn to create a capacity to be able to hold it.
Why would we want to “hold” helplessness?
Because at one point in our lives, we will come to the realization that we do not have control over everything and that as long as there exists “free will” by others, and events that are out of our control, we will have to face helplessness and get in touch with the vulnerability of living in this world.
Vulnerability needs comfort. Vulnerability needs care. Vulnerability does not need us to focus on the things we cannot control and fall into a state of depression. Vulnerability needs us to let go of the things we cannot control and get in to touch, compassionately with our vulnerability. This means developing a compassionate, inner dialogue. It means focusing on taking care of ourselves by eating well, exercising and soothing in a healthy way.
Some soothing techniques include, aromatherapy with calming oils, therapeutic massage, listening to the sounds of nature, walking barefoot on the grass and using breathing techniques to release the suffering.
When we can “face” helplessness and vulnerability we can transform the suffering of anxiety.
Looking into suffering 