We are deeply conditioned to not feel “good enough”. Societies expectations of us are unrealistic, and we sometimes find ourselves in a cycle of deep pain trying to live up to them. We run ourselves ragged this way and tire ourselves out. This creates suffering.
To find ways to decondition ourselves, we must investigate our beliefs of not being good enough with kindness and curiosity. Trying to criticize ourselves into submission, doesn’t work in the long-term as we can burn-out energetically.
The way to create less suffering for ourselves is to become mindful and aware of how the expectations of society have created a cycle of pain and suffering. This means taking the time to observe stress in the body and faulty beliefs in the mind. Some of these faulty beliefs usually start with, “if I could do ……….. I would feel good about myself”. The thing is, anything that we identify with, that is in a state of flux and change can lead us further into a feeling of “not being good enough” because it is temporary and doesn’t last. We can NEVER feel good enough this way.
Most people are looking for lasting, long term happiness and they think that this is possible through the concepts of what is “sold” to us through the media and societal expectations. Long term happiness comes from meeting ourselves and others, in each moment, with openness, wisdom and kindness. When we are able to do this, what we perceive as our sense of deficiency and others sense of deficiency doesn’t become a problem. It becomes something we can work with and bring a certain quality of attention to.
Mindfulness and meditation practices help us cultivate this attentive quality and train the habitual mind to be with what is arising in a holistic way, rather than a fragmented way. Being with things holistically can release the cycle of suffering.
Looking into suffering 