Distraction and suffering

Does distracting ourselves create suffering? At what point does it serve a purpose and at what point does it create harm?

Distraction methods used in certain situations can be helpful when they are healthy distraction techniques and are used at the right time. For example, when we are anxious about something that is going to happen in the future and we cannot do anything about it in the present moment, it is wise to distract from that thought pattern that is creating the anxiety, until we have developed strong mindfulness skills to be with it in a certain way.

The problem with distraction techniques is that they are being overused. They are being used to ignore emotions over a long period of time when those same emotions need to be attended to. Imagine ignoring your child for months. The child would use “any” method to get your attention because he or she would feel neglected, abandoned and unheard. This is true also for our emotions.

People use all sorts of ways to distract from difficult emotions. Some of these include over working; using substances when they feel a certain way, for example, drinking alcohol in large amounts to distract from social anxiety. Other ways include, being on the internet and checking it incessantly, day dreaming, compulsive shopping, gambling, comfort eating etc.

The opposite of immersing ourselves in emotions and thought patterns, is also harmful. Some people immerse themselves “completely” in the pain and suffering. They become “identified” with the pain. For example, some people who feel depressed, label themselves as a “depressed person” and end up acting this way and isolating from others. They become the emotion rather than being mindful of changing emotional tides.

Our habitual mind, either immerses itself in emotional pain or suppresses it altogether. This creates suffering.

The way to transform the suffering is to get out of these habitual ways of thinking and behaving by developing mindfulness skills to be with passing thoughts and emotions. Everything passes when we don’t hold on to it. Distracting can be a way of holding onto emotions subconsciously. The more we distract, the more our emotions become bigger waves of energy. Suffering releases its hold, only when we can learn to discern how to be with what is arising in a mindful way.